Uncovering the past
by MetalerOtaku
Summary: Deidara Iwa,normal highschool student,with weird friends...but what will happen when he start having flashbacks of a "danna"? Will someone tell him the secret they have been keeping from him?-Not good at summary, warning: Hidan's "colorful" vocabulary
1. Making friends

_Uncovering the past_

Chapter one:

**Making friends**

"_You are a freak! Don't get near me!" Danna yell as he starts backing away looking at me with eyes full of hate and disgust, where once there was tender and love. How could the things have changed so much? Why will life always did this to me? Why? Why again should I be the one getting hurt? _

"_Sa-Sasori! Please hear me!" I said with tear filled eyes, it hurts so much as never before. Sasori got near me in a quick step, making me stumble and back away. He grabs my wrist in one of his and then yelled._

"_Brat you are a disgusting freak! I just date you because I could! I'm a playboy learn that!" With that said he throws both of my hands forcefully down, finally letting go the strong iron-grip he had on them. I - my wrist… I then look back up; all I could see was his back as he walks away. He was gone, h-he is letting me alone, and he doesn't love me. I- I… It hurts so much I don't want this! I fall in my knees and start crying, analyzing what did I did wrong? Soon I pass away._

"Class today we have a new student, please come in" I hear the teacher said from inside the classroom. Probably that's my sign, I should get in. I open the door and then I stand up in front of the class.

"Hi class! I'm your new classmate Deidara Iwa, un! Please to meet you all!" I said happily with a cute smile in my face. I start to look around the class; they all look at me weird. Why would they be? Also they were murmuring, though that is normal; I'm the newbie after all. But why would they look at me with those eyes? My smile faded away and I look to the teacher who had a thoughtful look, he then notices me and told me to get any sit. I take a quick glance around the classroom and decide to seat with a pink-headed girl. She seems nice enough, maybe we can be friends.

I took my seat and put my stuff down; I was taking out my sketching notebook because I knew homeroom was going to be boring. But I notice the pink-head was staring, maybe she does want to talk with me and be friends. I should start the conversation. I turn to my right, as I'm sitting beside the wall at the left, and look at her.

"Hi! As you already know I'm Deidara, but you can call be Dei. Was your name, un?" She look at me with guilty eyes, but then she suddenly change as if she remembered something important.

"Um... Hi Dei-Dei! I'm Sakura Haruno!" She said in a happy but uneasy voice.

"Oh! Sakura what a nice name! I love it, un!" She then look at me with sad eyes and a tear start to form in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Sakura-chan, did I said something wrong? Was the matter, hm?" She wipes the tears with her hands and then looks up with a fake smile.

"Oh is nothing, really doesn't matter" She said, and I look at her scanning her eyes to try to find what was wrong. I gave up at it seem impossible.

"Well, it's okay if you don't want to tell me un. But just remember I will always be here for you Sakura-chan, and if someone hurts you I will personally kill them, hm" I said in a soft voice, she seem taken back by what I said, but then she recovered and smile.

"Yeah, me too! Although, I won't kill them, oh no! I will torture them until they beg to be kill!" We both start to laugh and keep on talking. Soon homeroom was done and we had to head to the next class. Sadly Sakura and I didn't have the same class so she left first.

I pack up my stuff with some urgency and then walk out the door, the classroom was almost empty besides this gang like people who stay there talking. Also they were glaring at me during all homeroom, better stay away from them don't want problem! I check my schedule, I had Ecology first. Damn that class! I don't like it! Is not like I get bad grade or nothing, because I do understand, is just that it is boring! I sigh, no good in skulking the first day better just be all happy-happy.

Meanwhile I walk down the hall looking for room 9, I saw that people was still looking and rumoring about me. Wow, have they never had a newbie? Seriously they are all staring too much. They make me feel uncomfortable.

As I keep looking for my classroom I notice the little show. This kid that was staring me and walking; suddenly bump with the red-head from the gang of before. I notice that the kid was about to say something like "Look where you are going" but he then look at who he bump to.

"I- I- I'm sorry! Please forgive me!" He suddenly said a bit too loudly. This gang seems really scary, better be careful of those bullies. The red-head look down at the kid who bump to him and the he grab him by the collar and push him to the lockers. He whisper something to the kid hear and then lets him go. The boy just nod and run for his life. Note to self: Next time I see the red-head alone, KILL HIM! I mean, they just bump! He over-reacted, what a bully. I definatly hate that gang, they seem just like a bunch of bully.

If it wasn't because I swear that this year I will be perfect student I will have seriously beat the shit out of the red-head and the others. Bullies just piss me off! Ugh! Calm down, Deidei, you are swearing and you promise not to. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale; okay I'm calm already. Better keep up my path and not bump with those bullies.

As I was about to continue, as all the other that stop with the little act, I notice that all the gang was glaring at me. Did they hear my though or what? Okay better just not be late Deidei, and walk pass them. Yeah, good plan.

I was about to pass by the glaring gang, looking down, making sure not to make eye contact with the bullies. I was almost done and I was going to be alive! Ugh I just bump with some… Oh shit not the gang please! I look by the corner of my eye, oh my it was the orange-haired guy with a lot of piercing. His eyes haven a weird purple color and spiral form, kind of. He is in over-all FUCKING SCARY! DAMN MY LUCK! Rapidly I bow my head and said.

"I-I'm so sorry, un! I didn't meant to!" I said, expecting for the worst since the redhead treat the little kid so badly, I guess I wasn't exception to him. Plus I'm older, and he seems more cruel and mean. I look up a little scare but at the same time still feeling like beat the shit out of the bullies if they piss me off, but now I was more scared than anything. I mean seriously is a whole gang vs. a girlie blonde.

"Don't worry that's okay" He said staring to pick up some of the notebooks that fell. Meanwhile I just sit there clueless and in shock. I mean the hell is happening right now? He was already done and now he was offering his hand for me to stand up. I reluctantly took, with just one thought in my head, "what is going on? Why he, cruel looking guy, is so nice?"

Now I was standing up looking at the members of the gang. They look all so different from a moment ago, especially the red head that almost scare to dead a little kid. I was looking directly on those eyes that once cold and distant, were now sorry and sad. Does all this was because of me? What was wrong? Better just end this and leave before they decide to be back to normal.

Again walking by them I feel a hand in my shoulder suddenly stop me. I stiff at the sudden touch and slowly look back. There was a white-head from the gang, meanwhile the other just look at me and him waiting for something; but the red-head look was different. Was that jealousy? I didn't even know him!

"Yo blondie!" The white-head said with a smirk. Em… was wrong with this people?

"Um… Hi?" I said, not really sure about how to respond to this kind of situation.

"Quick Question blondie "He said and pause for my answer. Probably he wanted me to do his homework, or something alike, damn bullies. I sigh once again.

"Yeah..?" I said, waiting for the obvious. Then his face took a kind of serious look and he let go my shoulder.

"By any means, we seem familiar to you?" He said, and at that moment all that confuse looks turn to hopeful. Again, what is wrong with this people! The once jealous look of the read head turns to shock and hopeful. Was I supposed to know them?

"Nope, sorry. Can I go now, un?" I said wanting to leave the weird rainbows haired gang of bullies.

"Bu-But! Don't you-"

"Hidan, let it go. We aren't supposed to talk about _that_, let him be" Said a blue-haired girl. My god this all are hair weirdoes.

The white-head, who I guess is Hidan look at the only girl of the gang. He was about to retort to her probably, but he shut up when he look at her.

"Don't treat him difference, he isn't who we thought it was" Said the blue-haired as she was turning back probably to leave. What she said was a shock to me. So they confuse me with someone and treat me nicely, then they start talking about "that" and leave just like that? WHAT IS _THAT_ ON THE FIRST PLACE?

They all were leaving now, Hidan the white head was the last one. He looks at me with a defeated face and said.

"I know you are Deidara, and I know you will be back." And then he leave. What was that all about? Oh well, I don't want to care so I'm just going to my classroom….emm…. again were it was?

Finally after long time searching and searching I have…! Decided to skip class … OKAY so maybe I didn't decide that but I just CAN'T find my classroom! This fucking school arg! If it wasn't because I swear not to, this school will be art since a long time ago!

RIIIIIIIINNNG

Oh~ That must be the bell! I remember I saw the cafeteria somewhere around…. Emm… lets go right!

-After a time—

Grrrrrrooooowwwrrr

Ouch my stomach I'm going to die here! Since principal Tsunade leave me at class I haven't find my way to anywhere. I.. don't have ener-gy-….

-Black out—

Hmmnnn~ It smell nice. Were I'm? Is that the red head from before? Why he is carrying me? Where he is taking me? Eh… I feel dizzy again…

-Black out-

Uh? I heard some voices. Was that?

"So you find him pass out on the hall" A girl voice, Shiuzune's?

"Yeah, please take care of him. You know how much I care." EH! Who they are talking about!

"I know Sasori, but remember you were the one to cause him this. And also you aren't the only one missing him; the others and me, we all miss him." Pause, silence.

"I know. I'm sorry but I really wish to make it back to him. I want a second chance-"

"You know you cant. Those were the rules, and if you try to make him remember, he will have to change of school. We can't let _that _ happen again." Again silence

"I'm leaving then." I start opening my eyes to hoping to see the one who save me and give him thanks before he left. But I was too late and all I could see was his red head. Could it really be the same person? I tried sitting up but my head felt all dizzy again.

"Ah! Deidara you are awake! Are you okay?" That's Shizune, and there isn't anyone else in this room so they WERE talking about me. Hmm what did they meant with all that?

"Un. What happen?" I ask with a soft quiet voice that I didn't knew I had.

"Well, it seems that you get lost all the way. You skip all class 'till lunch and then you skip lunch and pass out."

"Oh yeah… I didn't had breakfast today nor dinner yesterday,un-"

"Why!" Wow she is loud! Was the big deal about that.

"Emm… I just didn't find anything yummy and I don't want food, I want sweets!" She sigh and gave me a motherish look saying do it again and I'll kill you.

"Dei. .Ra. YOU DARE TO SKIP ANY MEAL AGAIN JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT CANDIES AND YOU'RE DEAD!" Ups… I shouldn't have told her that.

After time pass I was now in my dorm, thankfully Shizune had taken me here and from now on I was supposed to have a guide. Now let me see which is my room…A-7, hmm…. Where it is… 3… 5.. aha! 7! Okay let's see who is my roommate.

I softly knock on the door three times and wait. Nothing. I knock again, and nothing. I took out my keys and open the door.

"EEEPP!" I yelled in a girlish way. I DIDN'T KNEW THERE WHERE PEOPLE HERE AFTER I KNOCK AND NO ONE OPEN.

"Hi~!" He said with a wide smile spread on his face. He was half wearing an orange mask with a swirling pattern and one hole for his right eye, using the mask by the left side of his face covering the left side of his face. "I'm Tobi~ please to meet you!"

"Emm… Hi Tobi, I'm Deidara, un" I said entering the room and letting my stuff in a bed. There were three bed here, so that means I have one more roommate besides the little hyper freak.

"Oi Tobi." I said grabbing Tobi's attention from playing video games. "Who's the roommate,un?"

"Oh! Sasori-san was call to the office! He said he probably won't be our roommate so maybe it just you and me, senpai!" Eh? Senpai? Why senpai?

"Emm… Okay Tobi. I'm gonna go eat something, wanna come,un?"

"Yei! Let's go eating senpai! Oh oh! Tobi bough ice cream and put it in the freeze! You want some, senpai?" Uh~ ice cream me likies!

"Un! Let's go" With that said we spend the rest of the brake in our dorm eating ice cream and playing video games. Time passes by and we already need to head back to class, the brake was a 2 hour brake to eat lunch and rest a little and we spend those two hours with ice cream and call of duty… well at least Shizune wont yelled at me for not eating. The only weird thing is that none of the other boys of dorm A came, not even our roommate! Maybe he did change after all, oh well won't meet Sasori.

"Tobi, we should get going now, un" I said as I pause the game and start to stand up, we only have like what 5 min to clean the living room before the others come.

"Buuu~~~t senpai! " He whined. "Tobi doesn't want to go to class! Tobi wants to stay here with senpai!"

"No Tobi, hear your senpai, we should get going, un. Now what class do we have now?" I ask, Tobi suddenly bright up probably with the possibility of being together annoying me in class. He was awesome and all that, is just that sometimes he just annoys me to no end!

"Oh… Tobi and senpai don't have class together, Tobi have advance math and senpai normal math." He said and pouted… wait what? .

"Tobi have what?" I yelled in shock, he couldn't be serious.

"Tobi have advance math because Tobi is a good boy! And Tobi is very intelligent!"

"EHHH! HOW CAN U HAVE ADVANCED MATH, UN!" I yelled in pure shock of little Tobi even thinking he could be in advanced math!

"But Tobi doesn't lie! Is true! OH oh! Tobi have to leave before he is late, bye senpai!" The next thing I knew was that I was alone in the dorm, Tobi left running and even left his mask! Though he didn't even had it completely on. I should better also leave to class.

I was now already out of the dorm heading to my classroom when I notice I didn't had my guide and I will get lost again! FUCK! AHH I NEED A GPS FOR THIS PLACE! Ugh lets see, room 3-c… emm…. Right or left?

Well lets go RIGHT! I started walking taking turns and checking the rooms number, from the outside I seem to know where to go and how get there, but on the inside I was like "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing."

I check my clock, still half an hour to class to be over, and damn I give up! I slump myself and sit in the floor in the middle of the hallway, looking down at the verge of sleeping when.

"Oi look! It's blondie! Watcha doing here little whore?" That sound so familiar… WAIT HE CALL ME WHAT! I abruptly stand up looking up at the taller white head, Hidan.

"YOU LITTLE PISS OF SHIT YOU BETTER PRAY FOR ME NOT TO KILL YOU FUCKER!" I snap at the white head, and he just laugh. The blue haired from before look at me with a warm smile.

"So blondie here have a sailor mouth! HA HA HA!" I was now twitching, how he dare making fun of me!

"YOU LITTLE FUCKER! DIE!" I said as I tackle him down. AND HE JUST KEEP LAUGHING! I put my fist back ready to bruise that little fucker face's. But before I did he said something that leave me at shock.

"So you are really our Deidei" He said, now serious and not laughing. He push my fist back with his hand and then he stand up pulling me up. I didn't even make a try to move as I was in pure shock and confuse of what he mean by that.

First this people treat me nice, then they ask me if I know them and they magically know my name, and after that they say I'm their Deidei? Seriously this people will leave me a permanent trauma!

"Blondei you coming? You got class with me" Hidan speak up pulling me out of my own thoughts.

"Un. Let's go." I said starting to walk in front. I then feel a hand in my shoulder.

"Blondie?"

"Yeah..?"

"Is this way" He said pointing to the exactly opposite from where I was walking.

"He he" I laughed awkwardly "Better you lead, un"

"Yeah now let's go, we had a fucking hard time trying to find your ass in this school!" He said as we start walking. Hidan, the blue haired, and me.

"Eh? Why were you looking for me?" I ask

"We are your guides Deidei!" The blue haired girl finally speak up with a sweet smile. All I could do was smile back at her.

"Excuse me but was your name, un?"

"Oh sorry!" She said giving herself a slightly bump in the front head "I'm Konan!"

"And I'm Hidan, don't you forget little fucker!" He said grinning, and again cursing that little!

"CAN'T YOU SHUT UP FOR A SECOND,YEAH!" I yelled at him, he was annoying with all that cursing.

"Like fuck I will, you aint my boss! So I don't give a fuck"

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! YOU CURSE A FUCKING LOT,YEAH" With that he fall laughing his ass of meanwhile Konan just chuckle.

"Was so funny jackass, hm?" I said already getting piss off at him, but I swear I wouldn't blow up the school, plus they took my clay!

"HA HA HA! YOU! YOU LITTLE FUCKER COMPLAIN BECAUSE I CURSE A LOT BUT YOU DO WORST HAHAHAH" I start twitching.

"That was because you piss me off, now shut the hell up and get me to math,un"

"Yeah Hidan, move your sorry ass and lets go, we are already we are already late" Konan said, she then look back at me. "Now let's get moving Dei-chan~!" EHHHH? Dei-CHAN! Why chan! She knows I'm a dude!

"Konan?"

"Yeah Dei-dei?" She said now stopping their walking and looking at me.

"You know I'm a dude right,un?"

"He he~ Of course I know Deidei!" She said between chuckles.

"Huh? Then why the chan?"

"Because! You are the cutest little uke ever! So SO CUTE! KAWAI~~!" She said throwing herself at me and hugging me as a little plushy. Wait she just said I'm a uke? And that I'm cute? That means two things, first yaoi fan and second she things I'm girlie like uke!

"Noouuu! I'm not a uke,un! AND I'm not gay, but if I was I will be seme!" I said but this just make them laugh like mad.

"I'm not uke!" I said now a little red of embarrassment but still with an angry look.

"Awww! You are so adorable and rape-able when you pout!"

"Hell yeah! I'll fuck that" Twitching, twitching… HE WILL WHAT?

"I'M NOT GAY AND I'M NOT UKE! NOW SHUT THE HELL UP AND TAKE ME TO CLASS, YEAH!" I said walking-stumping passing them by. Then I feel someone throw their arms around my neck from the back, making me fall forward.

"KAWAI~~!" Konan said as she was now sitting on top of me, meanwhile I just rest on the floor.

"Fuck, just cuz you are on top now doesn't mean I'm a uke, un" I said turning around to be face up, and crossing my arms.

"Even if I'm a girl, you still will be my uke!" She said standing up and putting a hand in front me.

"How that even (fucking) possible,(un)?" Hidan and I said in unison, looking confuse at Konan.

"Oh Ho ho! That's for me to know and for you guys to find out! Tee he!" She said walking in front of us, meanwhile we just look at each other with a face that probably said "da fuck?".

After a while we finally get to the classroom and –

RIIIIINNNNG

DAMN IT I JUST LOST ANOTHER CLASS! Gosh, my first day and I have lost all the morning classes and this one. Konan, Hidan, and I start walking to the next class talking about random stuff. I now had Biology with Hidan, the teacher was some creep call Orochimaru.

"Kay we are here! Cya Dei-chan" Konan said waving at us

"DON'T CALL ME CHAN, HM" I yelled jokingly at her, and then I enter the room… it was hell.

The classroom was full of dissected animals, lab knifes and jars filled with organs and weird thingies. I was about to puke! Seriously what the fuck is this shit!

"HELL YEAH! WE GONNA GET BLOODY MURDER TODAY!" Yelled Hidan bumping his fist in the hair. BUT WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE THINKING? HE ACTUALLY _WANTED _ TO OPEN ANIMALS AND SEE THEIR ORGANS AND STUFF FROM INSIDE!

"WHAT DA FUCK HIDAN! YOU SERIOUSLY GOT PROBLEMS,UN!" I yelled gross and freak out at my friend attitude.

"Eh why?" He ask dumbfounded taking a sit in the front, I took the sit beside him.

"Because you like this gross things!" I say lowering my voice as more people start entering the classroom.

"It's awesome! Jashin-sama will be happy with all this sacrifices! "He said as a scared(A/N: I meant like scar) boy start entering the classroom and head to us. I think he was in the same gang as Hidan, I hope he is nice too; though he looks scary!

"Who's Jashin?" Now it was my time to be the dumbfounded one. As I said this, Hidan abruptly stand up making his chair fall. He hit the table with his hand look at me with a sadistic face.

"Who is what!" He said in a low dark voice. Then the scared boy who somehow was right behind him speak up.

"Hidan, shut the hell up and sit down" He said, with a voice that practically yell 'do otherwise, and I'll make sure to make your dead slowly and painful' . Hidan turn his head, with an angry face.

"And what if I don't fucking do? Eh Kakuzu? You think you are so fucking awesome! But guess what you aint my boss so I don't give a fuck bout you!" He said with a cocky grin. The boy, Kakuzu, didn't even look at him.

"You are my bitch, now" He said now looking at the boy with a fearful green eyes that make anyone want to die at that second instead of standing the guys wrath " . . .DOWN" Every word he said was full of dreads, and even though those words and hate wasn't directed to me I still "Eeep"-ed.

" .KNOW. .GIVE. ?" He said still grinning mimicking his voice. Now this two were in a glaring contest, Kakuzu look piss off and Hidan cocky. But then BAM!

Now Kakuzo was hugging Hidan with his arms around his waist , AND KISSIN HIM! WHAT DA! Hidan make no struggle to free instead he just kiss back, everyone in the classroom pay no attention to the two weirdoes, meanwhile I was just in pure shock. Finally they broke apart, Hidan was blushing and looking down, Kakuzu.. well I can't know he had his face cover, once again

"Now sit down and shut up" He said with a little hint of nice and sweetness in his voice. Hidan shyly look at him.

"Kay Kakuzu" He said still blushing and sitting down again beside me. Kakuzo look at me boredly and then he decides to sit behind us, moving a guy from that chair with only a look.

I look to my right in pure shock at the earlier show.

"What WAS that,un!" I ask to the still blushing Hidan. He look up at me and then look back down and said something I couldn't quite catch. "Huh? What u said? Speak up,yeah!" Some bangs of his hair start covering his eyes.

"I said… Kakuzu is my… seme… you fucktard" He said still looking down. Wait? The badass sailor mouth Hidan was someone's UKE? I start laughing hysterically receiving weird looks from everyone and an angry one from Hidan.

"WHAT SO FUCKING FUNNY!" He said. I look at him and try to stop myself from laughing but no use.

"HAHAHA! OH MY GOD! HAHAHAHA"I keep on and on laughing and after a while I finally half calm down. I look back at him and start to suppress the laugh that was threatening to come. Looking at his face jut make me laugh, he was just so annoyed.

"What?"

"You –he he- your face, AND –he he- YOU ARE AN UKE AH HAAHHAAHAH!" I felt on the floor laughing at him, pointing a finger at him and clutching my stomach. "BUAWAHA HAHA HAHAAH- OUCH! WHAT THE FUCK!" I finally stop laughing and was now piss of. Why? Oh because meanwhile I was on the floor, dear Hidan here throw a book at my face.

"Oh, was wrong Deidei? Not so happy now? Why don't you laugh now, eh?" He said smirking; oh I was going to wipe out that smirk. But then the teacher finally came.

"Good morning my dear class" He said, he was pale and creepy. "Sorry to be late but I had some important _business_ to do"

"Pff as if stalking Sasuke all day is important business!" Someone said. So the teacher is a pedophile and stalker, great just great.

"Oh, yeah we have a new student, but I hear he hasn't come to any class..." he trail off "Deidara Iwa?" Hearing my name I stand up and walk to the front, getting a dirty look from our sensei.

"Um, Hi. I'm Deidara, 17 years old; I came to this school from Iwarake High School. I love art and I believe I art is an explosion! BANG!"

"Ku ku ku, nice to have you back my dear Deidara" Orochimaru-sensei said as I was sitting down. Wait what? Back, what does he means? Weirdo indeed.

Class pass by with the creeper teacher explaining us how to open little animals, me grossed out, and of course Hidan enjoy himself saying "FOR JASHIN-SAMA" every time he will start cutting them. After Biology we still have just one more class, I had Art with the weird orange headed, which Hidan told me that he is actually "fucking" awesome, the red headed with no comment from Hidan, and a black haired that I actually haven't notice in the group, his name is Itachi and when I ask about him Hidan just laugh and left.

As we approached art class I was getting nervous. Sure this was my favorite class and all but I also want to make a good impression with everyone and last thing I remember when I show my art was that they called me freak and start bulling me. But well, I keep my hand gloved so no problem this year!

Now I was in front of the door, I gulped as I touch the knob, slowly making my way in until-

"FUCKTARD I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY GO IN!" Hidan yelled and shoved me inside the classroom with a push. I start waiting for the obvious, and what would that be? Oh well, only a face palm with the dear floor. My eyes closed and I could feel myself falling and then everything stop.

Oh no, time didn't stop, but me falling it sure did. I was being held by a pair of strong arms, gentles arms. I look up to see who have saved me from the ultimate face palm only to see.

**-End-**

**A/N:**

Buahaha who could it be?

Update: I'm editing this and fixing the mistake, if you found something else please tell me!


	2. Bits from the past

Chapter 2:

**So… flashbacks, un?**

_Last chapter: Oh no, time didn't stop, but me falling it sure did. I was being held by a pair of strong arms, gentles arms. I look up to see who have saved me from the ultimate face palm only to see._

It was the Kakuzu. Yes _the_ scar dude. Even thought I was grateful to him for saving me of kissing the floor; I couldn't help the "eeppp" that came from my mouth at looking at his scarred face that was just inches away from mine.

"Tch" He said as he helped me stand up. I walked towards my chair, but I notice that Kakuzu was talking with the red head. Who seemed completely un-amused about something; after a while he went to his chair and so did Kakuzu.

The rest of the class went normally with a smoker math teacher called Asuma who seems to like throwing books. And how I know that? Because my dear friend Hidan didn't shut the hell up and they blamed us both; and well also he can dodge.

But class was finally over and I was now walking with Hidan to my next class. Hidan had another class so it was just me now, and I recalled he mentioned the red head would be here? I think so… I don't remember because I wasn't paying much attention. It's not that I'm mean and don't care, but he was blabbering about his religion and Jashin-sama this and that; and how Jashin-sama was probably going to kill and torture me for not knowing before who he was.

Finally I reach the classroom and Hidan left, and I don't know why I start feeling all nervous and shy. Not wanting to make people stare and stuff and I open the door quickly, BUMP! I poke my head from the little opening I make and saw that I just hit with the door no other than the creepy red head. Don't get me wrong, but the dude always gives me this looks and also I'm almost completely sure he was the one who took me to the nurse! CREEPY STALKER! Well, besides that he was also in this morning's gang so I guess I probably just dig my own grave...?

"He-hee" I laugh awkwardly as the fuming red head just clench and un-clench his fist. Oh man, I am dead! I mean, I could even see the vein daring to pop on his forehead! I should probably make a run for it.

The read head gave and exasperated sight and left the classroom without a word, leaving me with a derpy face standing in front of the classroom. Crap, so much for making it inside with dissimulation. Awkwardly I went and sat at the very last chair on the left corner, and for some reason people were eyeing me like if I was nuts. I pay no mind to them and sit down.

I took my sketch notebook out and start drawing a phoenix braking out of a cage and flying, and of course, it was on flames. Later I should make a statue of it and make it true art, and of course by that I mean making it explode.

I was giving the final touches to the phoenix when I felt a hand tap my shoulder. "Yeah..?" I ask with an irritated voice, but when my eyes actually saw who it was I start digging my own grave once again. Yes it was the ohh so dear ginger creeper.

"You are on my chair" He said bluntly with none expression on his face and coldly, though he seems a bit different now. And since when he has that tattoo on his forehead? Oh well, I probably wasn't paying as much attention. "I said… ..Chair" He spat with venom. Geez, someone's moody today.

"Yeah whatever, it doesn't have your name. You can get another, un" I said as a matter of fact when on the inside I was freaking out. The red head was a thousand times more emo and soulless than before, well that is if it's the same ginger of course.

"Don't make me repeat myself." He said with a hint of irritation on his voice.

"Tch, what the little baby is gonna cry? There, take your chair..." I said without actually paying actual attention to my words. I started walking for a front chair trying to escape the red head's rage, when I felt someone grab the back of the collar of my shirt.

I turned around to see the annoyed red head who was probably thinking of punching me after what I oh-so stupidly said. "I'm going to enjoy watching you bleed" He said with evilness as he lift his fist to punch me. Out of instinct I close my eyes waiting for the fist. But once again, it never came (A/N: that sounds wrong… XD sorry ppl!). His fist had stopped, or at least it had to because it didn't touch my face, slowly I opened my eyes to see what was going on. And another red head was there! So they were actually two gingers! Ha! I knew it!

Wait wuuut .-. So red creeper/stalker/ginger is which? Em… I almost 99% sure it is the one blocking the fist… Oh shit wait, again, what? He was blocking the fist! That means… he protected me and that probably he is going to get killed if he isn't the red head from this morning!

"Back off" Said the first red head that was in front of me, with a threating voice that even make me flinch, though I'm a scardy cat (yeah, problem with that? I just also have a big mouth and talk more than necessary *childish pout*) . For reasons I'm not sure, the other red head was shocked, eyes wide and his fist down. He backed off just as he was told and went and sat on his chair as if nothing had happen. And I was frozen, standing up like an idiot; which I regret oh-so much because seconds later, the red head that saved me turned around and bumped me. Oh no, it wasn't a slight bump it was a big one (A/N: _it_ was a big one.-. ... sorry sorry I will stop XD! Fyi I'm not a perv!) that tackled me off my feet.

So now I'm on the floor in a _reaaaally _awkward position with the red head; face flushed in a full blush and my eyes closed. I could feel the red head standing up and then pulling me up as I weigh less than a feather. I re-opened my eyes, my vision looking down at my shoes and the blush...the godamn blush still there. I then look up and first thing I see is the red head beautiful chocolate brown eyes that were looking back at me. Those eyes… eyes I know…

Huh? My vision is now becoming blurry and I'm seeing stuff, like an illusion? No, it was a memory … a flashback?

*Flashback*

"_I-I love you, un!" I was looking down with a deep red blush across my face, I then hear Danna laughing, what will he be laughing at? Probably of me, because of how stupid I am and how pathetic and desperate I probably look now. I then hear someone walking, was he leaving? Why will he? My eyes start getting teary at the thought of being rejected, but why will he love me? I mean he is the most popular dude in all the school and he could have whoever he wanted and when he wants ,so why will me? I was brake out of my thoughts as I feel someone hugging me, was it Danna? I look up to see him smiling._

"_Brat… don't cry…" He said, making me cry more on his chest, he never said back I love you… He didn't love me probably… But then why does he hold me like this? Why does he act as if he loves me? Oh sure is just an act! Who will love something like me? I keep on crying making Danna's t-shirt wet_

*End of flashback*

W-what was that just now? I now was again in the classroom time start moving normal and the red headed took me to a different chair. But I did no move; I was just standing there in pure shock. Someone wave his hand in front of me trying to make me react, but no use I keep there in shock, paralyzed. Who was this Danna? Why was he a-a- A GUY! Am I gay? Was I in love? What happened, what and why did I forgot such a thing? And most importantly what else have I forgotten?

Dumbstruck I keep silent, standing in front of everyone making no move. I could hear their voices and I could see them, but my mind was away just investigating and analyzing that flashback. Slowly I could see my vision become blurry and I felt dizzy, I heard a scream… and was that… my voice? My scream? Arg, it hurts my head! I drop on the floor, knees first with my hands on my head and that scream which was mine, continue. I don't know what is going on! This is all just so weird and new, I- I- I DON'T LIKE IT! IT HURTS! But why should it? _Who _exactly is this Danna! And what he did to my life! Arg, my head! Fuck was that?

Suddenly more and more… flashbacks start appearing in front of my eyes, but all went too fast and there were a lot at the same time. Seriously this was freaking me out, it is scary as hell. After a time which, seemed like a whole hour to me, the flashbacks slow down and the last flashback I see is… is the last part of the first memory…those words...

"_Brat I said don't cry, now didn't I? I… I also love you and I always did. Now stop crying, it hurts me seeing you like this."_

I collapse unconscious to the ground, no longer sure of where I am, what was reality and what wasn't…

-End-

Author's Note: (Please read or at least the second paragraph)

HOLY SHIT! WHO WANTS TO KILL MY ONE-SAN FOR THE CLIFF HANGIE?

Yup as you notice, this one was actually beta'd by my twin and one-san. And yes, she make the cliff hanger which thankfully fits perfect on the third chap start and I won't have to re-write it! Hell yeah for telepathy xD

Oh , I know it was way too long the first chap and I had lots of errors. Like I repeat some sentences, or call Deidara a she (yeah it is yaoi, sorry for those who don't like it) I also misspell Kakuzu's name! . I seriously thought it was with the o at the end because they normally write it like that on fanfics. Also I make some grammar and terms mistakes, I apologize my English is really bad because I'm still learning (Spanish first language but I read more fanfics in English so that why I write them in English too). And also lots of other stuff that I did (btw Deidara always says un, or yeah but I write it like un, hn or hm, and yeah) Sorry again! It was because I didn't had beta for when I update first chapter and I was too lazy to read something that I wrote myself ( I mean, I know what was going to happen and stuff so I get bored when reading).And I'm sorry for making this one too short for your like (maybe?) but I don't want you guys to get bored with stupidly long chapts so I decided to brake it up on parts (chapt two was actually 10 pages on word without the A/N). If you don't like it like this I will make it longer, again sorry for crapiness hope didn't make you blind? I will pay more attention on English class for now on!... okay that's a lie.

Oh well. OH thanks for the alerts, fav, and reviews :'D I was annoying till hell my friends with that! **Envyy**(was there a third y?)**: Yup both review I got them, remember it takes a while to appear! And I'm so happy you like this excuse for fanfic! And here you got moaar .3.~~ **

**Chillybean****: Thank you for pointing out my mistake! It makes it easier for when I'm writing to look out. And I know comas are my friends but my English teacher says I use way too much commas and that I shouldn't, etc. And I know first chapter isn't too structured and stuff, it was because I only had time to work during night (**umm…semana santa? You know 1 one week, no school). **I really hope that I have fix all my mistake on this chapter but if you found anyone feel free to point it out, I won't feel bad nor anything and I will keep this story till the end no matter what.**

To others feel free to review and flame (of course you can flame I'm not perfect) and say your opinion of this story, I won't get offended neither be mean to you, this is a free country baby! DO WHAT EVER YOU WANT!

He-hee, long author note! Okay, so I was thinking that maybe I should re-update the story, that means I will delete this one and fix first chapter ( making it shorter and explaining more detailed like some ppl told me to); so I need you guys to decide because this story is for you (if it wasn't I wouldn't be updating!) So decide new story fixed or let's forget my mistake and move on? I will keep the count on votes here and I will also ask my real friends that read this (even the no yaoi fans bwuhahah). Until then I will keep updating normally.

Vote:

Delete story and start again: 1 vote

Forget mistakes and move on: 2 vote


	3. Distant Figure

Chapter 3:

Ugh my head, it hurts like if I hit something really hard. *sights* I started to open my eyes slowly. Once i did, I looked at the not so odd ceiling. Have I been here before? It does seem familiar… oh yeah later at the nurse…. God what a horrible first HALF day! At least the Shizune lady is very sweet and nice, plus I think I made friends with that power ranger gang (1); so I'm safe of any other possible bullies.

… Maybe...i hope …

I'm still sleepy, what time is it? There should probably be a clock nearby, at the wall? Oh, there it is… 7:43 PM! How much time have I been sleeping? I quickly sit up, making my vision all black and feeling light headed. I hate when that happens.

"YAY SENPAI IS AWAKE NOW!" A familiar voice said as my vision became back to normal I could see Tobi looking at me with a bunch of other people. And they are all staring at me… stalkers…

Talking about stalker where could that ginger stalker guy be? I own him.

"Deidara? You there?" Someone said waving his hand it front of me, blinking twice I came out of my thoughts and back to reality.

"huh? Yeah, I'm here un" I said off handily.

"DEIDARA!" A girl yelled from the background as she launched herself at me. "OMG DEIDEI! I LIKE TOTALLY MISS YOU SO MUCH! I HAVENT SEE YOU IN LIKE WHAT? 3 MONTHS! OMG OMG! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!" That voice, annoying and high pitched… oh god please tell me it isn't-!

"INO! Let him go! He just woke up" Fuck it_ is_ Ino!

"Yes, Shizune" My dear cousin reply as she finally let me breath. Once free I took a look at her, she hasn't change a bit, still using that whore clothes. Her parents must be proud...

"Emm... Hi Ino, how have you been since last time?" I ask the usual just for courtesy.

"Oh nothing out of the norm!" She said waving her hand as if dismissing. "Oh! Wait I do have news! I got a boyfriend! He is like totally awesome and sexy and so romantic-" quickly I tuned off, not caring to listen this "news". She would have a different boyfriend every now and then.

"Yeah Ino, that's awesome, un" I said trying to make her shut the hell up. Taking a glance to the people that where here I notice something… someone…

That someone was looking boredly at my direction just like the others, but for some reason there is something that piss me off about him! Although I just "met" him; if I could even call this a meeting that is. But still… GAWD! I WANT TO KILL HIM GRRRR! I just feel so annoyed.

"What are you glaring at?" He said opening his eyes after a kind of long blink.

"I was not staring!" Or was I? Well it isn't like I'm going to let him know."Tsk.. annoying bastard" I grumbled.

"Say something?" He said utterly calm.

"Yes! Yes I did! I said annoying bastard!" I reply losing the little control I had. Seriously I was about to let my secret slip just for blowing him up with my precious bombs! But I can't, I must not let anyone know of the phenomenon of hands I have.

"Hn" His intelligent respond was as he straighten up and walk towards the door with a glare all the way until he was about to close the door. And that's when I yell at the top of my lungs.

"I HATE YOU ITACHI UCHIHA!" I keep glaring the door even though he already left just a second ago. And as I glared everyone started to laughs loudly.

"Huh? What is so funny?" I ask clueless at them laughing, I mean even Shizune was giggling! She is an adult for god sake! "HEY! Don't ignore me! Why y'all laughing, un?" I try again, already un-amuse at them laughing.

"HA HA YOU! LIL FUCKER! HAHA HE WAS WRONG AFTER ALL! YOU _ARE _ THE SAME OLD DEIDARA-" Hidan said but was quick shut up by Konan punching him, what was he going to said? And what does he means by old Deidara… this all seems fishy…

"He- hee! Ignore him Deidei sweetie!" Konan said in a giggling girlish voice while stumping Hidan right across the chest with her foot… Mental note: Don't piss off Konan, and less in _those_ days! NEVER EVER IN _THOSE _DAYS OF THE MONTH!

Ahem back to reality…

"Um… yeah doesn't matter *stomach growls* ugh either ways lets go get something to eat! I'm starving, un!" As I said that I went outside with everyone tagging along. Well almost everyone, Ino disappeared with some guy called Sai when we were in the middle of the hallway. Probably that's his "awesome boyfriend" she was talking about.

The gang and I walked with no problems down the hall and to the dorm. Only weird thing I noticed, well maybe not so weird, is that everyone was making space for us. Probably was because of them, but either ways I don't want people to think I'm that close and related to this guys! Then they will be scared of me too, right? And if I don't make more friends besides them!

My chain of thoughts was broken by the sound of a closing door, and without noticing I am now inside the dorm and everyone is either on the couch or in their room. I walked towards mine and when I open the door I notice a certain red head. He seems to be working on something because he didn't look up at hearing the door. What could it be that he is working on… Is that a painting? Wow is beautiful and so sad at the same time…

"Don't stand there, come in or get out of my sight" The red head coldly announces. But I haven't been standing and staring too long have I? Uppss…

Suddenly the red head turned around his head and was now looking directly at me . " Deidara" He calls softly, his voice been barely a whisper and his eyes meet mines. Looking directly into each other. I realize something. The eyes _are _the window to others hearts. Without words we could know what the other wanted to tell and how the other felt. It is as we are connected.

"SENPAII~!" At the sudden voice outburst of Tobi, the red head and I brake free of our trance. I blink several times as if adjusting my eyes to the real word, blushing at noticing the position I was in. I went outside running to see what was wrong with Tobi, ignoring completely the other's presence.

By the second I step a foot out of the room, I was tackled by Tobi, almost falling at the un-expected weight.

" Senpai! Senpai! Guess what Tobi found!" The young boy said eagerly.

" What Tobi, un?" I said not trying to cover the fact that I'm not interested at the least. Moving to the couch I sit, Tobi tagging along sits at the other side.

" Aww senpai you should at least be more cheery! Well, either ways! Tobi found Itachi's video games!" He said shoving in front of my face a box with different titles, the box was a simple wooden box with the letters Itachi written on it. _Itachi… " I HATE YOU ITACHI UCHIHA"_

How did I know his name? And why he makes me so angry and pisses me off? Wait, a dude named danna, and I was in love, and then Itachi, a dude I now hate for no apparent reason… could it be… nahh probably no…

Although it makes sense… Itachi Uchiha was my first crush, then I decide to admit it, so I do, then he said he loved me and then we broke because of… because of those things...

Slowly I look down at my hands, thanks god I wear gloves. So lets said I did broke with him because he found about _it_, so then now I hate him because he broke my heart?

That's … logical...It does makes sense...in some weird ass way.

" Senpai I want to play after eating!" Tobi said making me come back to the present.

"Un, yeah. Lets get moving!"

***(**A/N:**Time skip, from here on Deidara is just summarizing what happened there)

After I had said that we all went to one of the school restaurants. There Tobi and Zetsu bought _pasta a la boloñesa (1)_ . While eating Tobi got dirty and Zetsu had to clean him, and that ended up with a blushing, adorable Tobi. Which caused the blue haired dude, whose name is Kisame, to laugh like a mad man with Hidan. AND that made Itachi (oh I'm the oh-so-great Itachi! Look at me people! God how much I hate him!) and Kakuzu to get annoyed and smack them over the head. And of course Hidan wouldn't stay quiet so he went full rage on Kakuzo and started yelling (seriously how can they be together?). And those two fighting caused Pein's wrath (it seems that I was right! He _is _the leader!).

Meanwhile the apocalypse occurred I was enjoying my meal talking quietly with Konan, Sasori (Ginger-red head haves a name!) and for my disgrace Itachi. Although as much as I hate to admit it, talking with them wasn't that bad, they aren't the usual bully gang that isn't friendly; they are actually nice. CoughExceptItachicough.

I think for a first day it wasn't that much bad… besides passing out two times, getting into a fight and missing almost all classes… besides that it was a nice first day. Either way, I'm now on my bed trying to sleep but I can't get something out of my mind. Danna is Itachi? And why can't I remember it clearly?

"_YOU ARE THE SAME OLD DEIDARA-"_

Also somehow it seems I know this people from before; but I also forgot them. And why wouldn't they want me to know about that? Why did Konan stopped him...what is so important that I cannot remember.. Either ways, I'm going to get answers. One way or another I'm going to get them! *yawns* I should go to sleep, tomorrow I will have normal classes… or at least I hope so…

"Danna..."I whisper full of doubt before my eyes tiredly closed, sending me into deep slumber...

-End-

1-Sorry I don't know how you said that in english so I wrote it in Spanish. It is that pasta with meat, but not meat balls… emm hard to explain, google it?

And this chap took me a lot of time you can blame **Arturin16**. He has been teasing me at school with the story, especially because it is yaoi. Maybe I should change accounts or something. I don't want him to bother me when I write more "lovely" scenes and stuff (yes Arturo I will write that kind of stuff, but you shut the hell up!). Plus my betas took a really really long time, though I don't blame them.

In other news, I decided just to keep going the story normally! Thank you for reading this and to my dear betas for fixing up my mistake!


	4. G'Morning

Chapter 4: **G'Morning!**

"FUUUUCK! WAS THAT REALLY NECESARY, YOU PIECE OF SHIT?" _ God damn it, who is the one yelling at the morning? _"LIKE HELL I CARE! I CAN BE LATE IF I WANT" _… Hidan… "_I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU ARE LATE" _Yes, definitely Hidan._ I sit up on my bed and rub my eyes of the sleep, still with the background yells of Hidan. _Well, I guess I won't need an alarm anymore. _With that thought on mind I start stretching before moving to turn of the alarm, it read 5:50. _10 min earlier, huh? Yup, won't need it. _

*smack* I could here on the background as something was hit and then- "SHIT FOR WHAT WAS THAT YOU BITCH?" Then another smack and silence_ Thank God to whoever shut Hidan up. _I head towards the door that head out to the dorm living room. When out, I finally notice that all were doing normal morning things as if all that yelling was quite usual already _Please DON'T let it be something routinary.(_A/N: I know that isn't a word, or at least it is misspell; can someone tell me at least one word that means the same? Totally clueless here)

Everyone seems not to paid attention to the past yelling so that tells me it WAS normal for the "happy" couple to morning fight. Everything was so peaceful ; Konan and Kisame were making some pancakes, Itachi (or Danna suspect #1) and Sasori quietly sipping coffee, Pein and Kakuzo eating some cereals, Tobi and Hidan (which was rubbing the back of his head probably after being silenced) sitting on the table waiting for the pancakes, and Zetsu browsing thru the refrigerator.

"Morning" I said making all heads turn around me. Everyone say good morning back at me beside Tobi, which was really weird to the boy to be quiet. I took a sit beside him and try again.

"Good morning Tobi" Silence "Tobi? Are you alright, un?" Again nothing… I waved my hand in front of his lifeless eye (hair cover the other one plus it seems there is also an eye patch) still not a reaction. _Is he piss off at something? Or did someone brainwash him._

"Oh, Deidara don't mind him! Tobi isn't much of a morning person; he is really quiet and lifeless until he is fully awake." Konan said in a 'matter of fact' tone. _ So the most hyper from all of us is the quietest… in the morning at least_. Standing up from my chair I went and took a bowl of cereal and milk, I sat back down and start eating. Today seems like it will be a normal peaceful day.

…

_Or at least I hope so. _After I ate I went to my room to put on some clothes and head towards my first class. Once in the bathroom I start looking for some brush I could use, and at not finding one I decide to go look for Konan's. Although I should ask I don't want her to get piss off at me.

"Hey Konan?" I call from the hall.

"Yeah?" She reply.

"Can I look in your room for a hair brush? I really need one"

"Of course! There is one in a drawer, go look for it!"

"Thanks!" I said before walking off to her room. Her room was a cute soft sky blue, not too girlie neither too manly. The room had 3 beds as all the other but only one was at use being Konan the only girl. Just at the left of the entrance there was a table with several drawers. I start open them and checking for a brush. _ Notes, notes, picture of her and Pein, make up… more makeup, a notebook, nail polish, earrings… OH! Brush! _I thought once I finally found the hair brush. As I pick it up I notice something below it. I also took it and notice it read something '_Christmas Party, Dec 18 2011'. Aww! It is probably the picture they took that day! God I wish I had enrolled the school earlier!_

I flip the photo over and with a quick glance I notice something…

_That… that is me..! _

**To be continue…**

**Author Note: **

Sooo sorry for that cliff hanger! I was thinking about continue it but it then I thought about how your expression will be when I just end it there XDD. DON'T KILL ME!

Also sorry for tardiness, I started my exams and I haven't had much time. And yes, I know I upload a BelFran BUT that's different! Because it was a one-shot so it is simple and short. This chap wasn't beta'd by my friend, so I hope I didn't make such a shitty work

Until next time~!


	5. G'Morning Part 2: Will of Fire

**Chapter 5:** **G'Morning Part 2:Will of fire!**

'_Christmas Party, Dec 18 2011'. Aww! It is probably the picture they took that day! God I wish I had enrolled the school earlier!_

I flip the photo over and with a quick glance I notice something…

_That… that is me..! .FUCKERY!_ I quickly grab both items and run towards the bathroom. Once inside I quickly lock the door and plump myself at a corner on the floor.

_That… that couldn't be…_ With shaking hands I lift over the picture until it was leveled to my face. I gulp as I flip it over again to take a better look. _It could always be Ino... right? We look alike with the hair and all... Ino and them are probably friends right? And they took the picture that day right? _ I keep thinking and thinking getting more and more nervous, panic building up as I scrutinize the photo.

It was actually a very cute photo. Konan was dressed with a red short dress with fluffy white fur and high to tights boots, looking somewhat like a younger version of Miss. Claus. Pein was just beside her with a slightly annoyed look, he wear something alike a young Santa Claus. Those two where in the middle, with everyone else around them. To the left end there was Kakuzo and Hidan. Kakuzo was wearing fake hears, green hat and clothes that signaled he was one of Santa elf. Hidan was wearing some reindeer horns, a 'leash' with a bell, and gloves look alike to deer paws; and… no shirt. Hidan and Kakuzo were giving the back to each other, Hidan with his trade mark smirk leaning against Kakuzo; while Kakuzo gave a warm smile towards Hidan direction. On the right end there was Kisame and Itachi. Kisame had the same reindeer costume as Hidan but with a light red shirt, and Itachi had the elf costume. On the picture Kisame was glopping Itachi from the back and making a peace sign, Itachi was with arms crossed and closed eyes not even bothering to smile. On the middle just below Pein and Konan Zetsu was sitting in indian style and with a reindeer costume. At his right side Sasori was with an elf costume. And… to the left side of Zetsu… there was a blonde with a reindeer costume and red nose. The blonde had crossed arms and was pouting; the redhead was pointing at the blonde and laughing while the green head sat with a beyond piss off look besides those two.

I keep looking at the blonde… and it was me… _Long bright yellow hair, check; tall half ponytail, check; one covered eye, check… that must be me… Why can't I remember? It is such a beautiful picture. _ I keep looking at the picture imagine the situation of that night, _It probably was fun…_ _I want to remember… so why?_ I try and try to make myself remember but it all resulted in a horrible headache. _We seem so happy, just fooling around… why? Why can't I remember? WHY?_

Looking down at the picture I notice wet drops. "Huh?" I lift my hands to my face and notice the wetness of it, was I crying? _ Yes, I'm crying… I'm crying because of my lost life… because of all those secrets… why aren't they telling me the true? Aren't they my friends? Why do they lie then? I deserve to know about my past, about my own life, and… about that Danna…_

I wipe the tears from my face and stand up determined to find the true no matter what._ I won't loss anymore time! I will uncover all this by self! I don't care how many obstacles or how well worked their lie are I will… I will uncover my past! _

**End**

**Author Note:**

Hell yeah! Dei's will of fire! I know it is short but it is because I had to cut down the other in two parts. Chap 6 I already start it, but it will take more time. This wasn't beta'd neither so I hope it is good enough.

Till next chaptie~!


	6. Who is the fake one?

**Chapter 6: Who is the fake one?**

****I stand up and left the bathroom with too many questions in mind and too little answer. Seriously just what have I forgotten? I sight, put some clothes on and went to eat with everyone else. Now that I notice, I couldn't remember a shit of who I was! The last memories I got are just normal "happy" days that I live with my so-call family. Which, if I remember clearly, was composed of Ino and her parents. So that means I live with my aunt and uncle? Was I an orphan or did my mom just drop dead? I focused on trying to get just one little slip of my past, but it was no use. Everything was locked and shut down as if someone was retaining me from remembering.  
I took a bite of my pancakes and let my eyes travel around my new group of friends. I wonder why did they keep all the truth from me? Did I did something wrong, or did I find out something I wasn't supposed to? Or where they just a bunch of hypocrite liars? I narrow my eyes as I keep glancing. Sighting once again I let my body relax, there was no point in just asking empty question; if I really wanted answers I was going to get them.

As I stand up to let my dishes I notice how everyone was looking at me with concern. So they do care? Then why are they lying to me? I deserve to know about myself! Or... where they using me? Was this some kind of sick joke? Am I nothing more than the toy they get to have fun with? Sighting for what seemed the 100th time this day; I stop my train of thoughts. I should just calm down, no use in just getting randomly piss off at them.

After everyone was done eating, we all head to walk to our classes. I notice that as we walk every single person keep glancing at me, just to turn around when someone from Akatsuki glare. They definitely were keeping something from me...  
"Um... H-hey, Deidara..." I turn my face to greet whoever was calling me, just to see Sakura blushing over the red head. Tsk, high school lovers, what a waste of time.  
"Hey, Sakura-chan" I say smiling politely even if I still was pissed off at the world for being a jerk.  
"I wanted to know how you were. You pass out two times yesterday" she said with a worry tone.  
"Hehe..." I smile sheepishly as I scratch the back of my neck. "Well, it wasn't a great deal, un. You shouldn't worry!" Sakura just frown slightly.  
"Well, if you say so..." she looked down in a thinking matter, to just then look up with a bright smile. "Then, see ya later!" She said before leaning in to give me a peck on cheek. Blushing at the sudden motion (I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH BUBBLEGUM! Is just that… well I'm not really sure, but I guess that was the first time someone kiss me…) I held my hand up at my check; to which she giggle and push my hand away. She then proceeds to pet slightly my check with the back of her hand.  
Weirdly enough her hand felt a little too familiar on my check, as if this wasn't the first time she touched me. Her hand though warm felt as it aches and sting and just them I notice I was having another flashback...

"_Leave me alone you forehead bitch!" I yell at the top of my lungs as I look at the angry Sakura. What excuse did Sakura had THIS time to be piss off at me?_

" _YOU! YOU GAY PIECE OF SHIT! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM!" She retorts stumping one of her foots, her face was completely red with anger._

"_Him…? Do you mean Danna, yeah?" I ask with calmness that I know will get her even madder. I lean to the wall and then proceed to cross my arms over my chest turning to look at her mockingly. "Did what to danna?"_

"_You know what you did! Why the hell is he ignoring me? You travesty! Answer me! What the hell are you doing to him?" She was probably beyond piss off now, and I could easily tell. Her tears were just about to spill as she speaks, but I didn't mind. I haven't done anything wrong and so, I don't feel guilty._

"_Oh, you mean why does he prefer me over you, yeah? Hmm… I don't know, could it be because… he loves me and not you?" I ask making her flinch and take a step backwards. Ha, she probably didn't expect me to say that! But, oh well, is the true! I won't lie! Danna did love me and Miss. Forehead Bubblegum will just have to suck it up._

"_! He does not! He was my boyfriend! He-"she didn't get to finish her rambling as I interrupt her._

"_Oh my, Sakura, you are really intelligent. ' He WAS your boyfriend!' Very good from you to use past tense; because, of course, he WAS your boyfriend but he now IS mine" At this it seem that Sakura finally lost it, she took a step forward , held her hand up and then…she slap me… "Can't afford the true, pinkie? Don't worry you probably still have a chance even if he is gay! I mean, you already look like a dude! But on top of that, you even hit like one? Wow!" I say mockingly, ignoring the sting that I felt from the slap. Note to self, Sakura was actually really strong! _

I flinch and slap her hand away as if the mere touch of her hand burned me. My eyes were widening at what I just saw, or better say lived. Was I really that much of an asshole? The hell was wrong with me? Maybe that's why no one told me the truth! They probably didn't want the old Deidara back! Hell, not even I wanted the old 'me' back! How could I treat Sakura like that after taking her... b-boyfriend away... Just who the hell I was? And who the hell was this Danna guy?  
I didn't notice that everyone was looking at me like I was some crazy guy. I just took one step after another backing away from Sakura, my eyes wider than ever and just a bit teary. I turn around completely and then make a run from it. I just need some time to clear my mind while the headache from the flashback subsides.  
After running for some time, I finally came to a stop noticing I was in front of a classroom; I check my schedule and notice that this was indeed my classroom. I sight while wipe away my tears, and then enter the classroom. Taking a chair at the very back, I let my head fall on the desk as I just wait for the teacher.  
Who is the fake one here? Am I some kind of new Deidara who everyone likes better? Or are they the fake ones that lie to me for no apparent reason? Either ways, I will at least get my answer about the picture; and I've got someone perfect in mind who I can ask to about it. I smirk as the person I just had in mind opens the door. I knew he was easy to be trick and that, either way, he would be more than happy to comply.  
"Hi, Deidara-senpai!" Tobi say, which I just return with a smile. This was going to be easier than I thought. "Why did senpai run away?" Tobi say taking a sit beside me.

"I… well I didn't want to be late, un!" I quickly make up an excuse and pray that he will believe it.

"Ohh! That right! Senpai shouldn't be late to class after he didn't even come to class yesterday!" Yup, he believes it, what a gullible person.

"Ha ha ha, well, yeah that's true. By the way Tobi, I need you to help me with something reaaaally important!" I said sounding a bit like him. The hyper boy seems very happy at the news of helping his senpai at something.

"Tobi can help! Tobi is a good boy and he is very good at helping!" He said with excitement.

"Hmmm…" I fake thought for a while "Well, I don't know… it is a secret so you have to be really really good at keeping secrets..."

"Tobi is! Tobi is! I mean it! I'm really reaaaaally good at keep it secrets!" I blink confuse at hearing use first person, but then shrugged it off as un-important. Right now what I need is to know every single thing that happens the night of that photo, at least. I start searching around my pockets for the photo and just when I was reaching my hand to give it to him.

"What is that?" Itachi ask appearing from what it seem, the nowhere. Taking a sit just behind Tobi, he raises an eyebrow and keeps looking directly at me. The look on his face told me 'I know exactly what you are doing and thinking, so don't even try'. Tsk, the bastard! As if! I quickly hide the folded photo and then proceed to talk to Itachi trying to distract him of asking about that. After a long time, the teacher (weird emo perve silvernet) finally decide to arrive. The class was completely boring and wasn't such a big a deal; thanks god it's finally over! I pull Tobi away from the others with the excuse of asking him to show me where the bathroom was. I really had to ask him about the photo and if it wasn't now then I will have to wait 3 more hours until brake because we don't have any other class together. When we were at a proper distant from the others I stop him mid-track.

"Hey, Tobi? Remember that secret I need help with, yeah" I ask trying to sound as casual as ever. Tobi just answer with a nodding of his head and with (probably, can't tell because of that dumb mask) his usual 100 watts smile. "Well, it is something really important so I'm just gonna ask it now, hn"

"Hai! Senpai can ask anything! Tobi will answer" He says, also nodding as if to reiterate what his own words. I sighted and then took some deep breath. I haven't even notice how nervous I actually was. I took the photo out of my pocket (once again) and stare down at it for some seconds; even if it was fold. Another deep breath.

"Well… Tobi you see-"

_RIIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIING_

"OH! Senpai! We are going to be late to class!" Tobi yell and then ran away towards his classroom. That was just great! FUCK MY LUCK! Seriously just perfect timing isn't it! I sight and stump towards my classroom, sulking and cursing under my breath on the way there. I guess I will have to wait until break… damn it!

***Time skip***

As usual, nothing out of the ordinary happen in class. Everything was just so monotone and boring! I lift my head from the table to check the time, still 23 more minutes? It is just me or is this class just going as slowly as it could! I sight and bang my head on the table; bad idea, that actually really hurt. I took a glance around the room, checking the people that were around here. Which none was from Akatsuki, that means I'm alone in this class… well, Sakura is there but I don't think I should talk to her… Ino is here, but she is talking to Sakura… Sight, this is so boring! Should I actually pay attention to class?

…

HA! As if! Better just take a nap or something… Actually that isn't such a bad idea! I rest my head down, and then close my eyes; successfully drifting to sleep after some seconds…

"_What's wrong! Why are you crying!… "She did WHAT! Wasn't she supposed to be your friend?" "I know… don't worry… I will take revenge…" "Sakura? Hn, I won't ever forget that name…"_

The hell… what are those voices? I bolted up, being full awake now .Wasn't that my voice! But there someone else also… can't make clear who it is though… or what it said. I look around the classroom only to notice everyone was packing up and leaving. I probably sleep the whole 20 minutes… I stand up and slung my backpack over my shoulder, walking towards the door. Once outside I stop to what I see… everyone… was there waiting for me… Everyone was smiling and waving me over to them.

Somehow I feel all warm and fuzzy inside... is this what friendship feels like? It feels like the first time… the first time someone has care for me? I smile happily and walk over them, pushing all thoughts aside, at the moment I didn't care who the asshole was. If me, and they prefer new Deidara; or them playing some sick joke and not telling me the true; I don't care about that at the moment. All I care about is this, this feeling of knowing you can trust someone, to have somewhere to go to… a place to call home…

My past… from what I feel I guess I really didn't had a real home… but the present, this now, they are my place I can call home…

-**End-**

**Author Note:**

Here! A knife! It is use to stab late updaters! Like, well, me! BUT, I actually do have real reason to be late… well those and also I got lazy and I didn't find inspirations… I mean, seriously I feel like no one reads this! But I know you do, at least if 1 person is reading it I'm gonna keep updating until the end. And I know I told you in last chapter that I had started this one so I was gonna update earlier… but I change, got new ideas and I had to re-write… Also this one is a bit shorter than the original, because when I was beta'd-ing(the hell is that?) I got more ideas and change it and… well that seem like the perfect place to end it.

And this time I do have the others chapters started, and if I don't come up with something else then I will update sometime around this or next week! Oh and yes, Deidara seems like such a jerk to Sakura…but he has a reason! So don't worry, Deidei isn't a complete asshole!

Oh! OH! GOOD NEWS! Next chapter or chap 8 is where real stuff is getting on! YES, that means Sasori is finally gonna start appearing more and more!

Btw I'm writing this fanfic call _Love vs Lust _ it's also SasoDei and is the pre-sequel to this one. Should I update it or first finish this one, that way I won't give mayor spoilers to whoever is reading both. Either ways, if I do update it, don't worry because this story still have a plot of its own you don't really have to read the other and viceversa. Please whoever reads this, vote and let me know what you think!

Till next chaptie!... if I don't get lazy that is… (btw didn't the tittle kinda remind you of an anime? Lets see if you guys can guess it ^-^)


	7. Expect the unexpected

**Chapter 7: Expect the un-expected**

During brake we scare the shit out of some students for sitting on "our" table; and then proceed to just eat as if nothing happen. While eating Hidan and Konan keep arguing over god knows what, or either me and Hidan; Tobi was talking with the weasel bastard (who is his cousin…so weird) and the others were actually doing normal stuff. I smile at the view, everyone was just doing their 'usual' routine and even if all this is just weird and fuck up; it is great. These are my friends and I wouldn't change then for anything.

I start laughing when I remember what I say on my first day. Which basically is that I hate this people and that I will never ever befriend them, that's kind of ironic that they end up being my closest friends. I really was so different on my first day, almost not me! But with them around, I just act different… is this my real self that is being pull out when I'm with them?

Now that I remember, the first day Hidan had ask me if I remember them! And Konan just say to not bother because I wasn't who they thought I was. I inwardly facepalm myself, god I'm so stupid! I thought they were just a bunch of weirdos when they said that! Stupid, stupid, stuuupid!

I took a bite of my food and lower my gaze when I saw Sakura. On the first day she was the person I thought I will be the closest to, but now I'm just confuse. With all those flashbacks… what is really happening?

"Shut the fuck up Hidan!" I yelled once again when Hidan finally retort to what I last said. We have spent all this time just yelling at each other, but we know we didn't mean anything about what we said. At the end we are just teasing each other with the harshest words possible. Yup, this is my type of friendship.

I keep analyzing all that happen on my chaotic first day and this last others. That day on the nurse, what could _'that' _be? Shizune was talking with Sasori (if I'm not wrong, but I'm pretty sure it was him) and they were talking about '_that'_. It probably is connected to this whole thing, or at least I hope so… That red head, Sasori, he always is looking at me with guilty sad eyes. Did he do something bad to me on my past? Maybe… I can ask him about my past! Yes, he and Hidan seem to know, and also they seem like the type of person who is nice enough to spit out some info. Well maybe Hidan no, but Sasori is, and the creepy looking Kisame. Even if he does looks pretty creepy, he is actually one of the nicest people I have come to know. Hmm… probably can ask him too…and Shizune, she seems to know something…

Well, seems like a list! But first off, I have to ask Tobi. The little pest always finds to somehow escape just when I'm about to ask! I stop my train of thoughts just to notice… we are all walking to the dorm. When the hell have I stood up? I really should pay more attention to what's happening around me.

Finally we get to the dorm and I decide this is the moment I can ask Tobi about the photo. So we go to our room and close the door, he sits down and starts looking at me expectantly. I'm starting to feel all nervous and anxious once again.

" Tobi… about that thing, I will give you something I you have to promise me to tell me everything you know about what happen on that day, yeah."  
"Hai hai! Tobi promises!" Reluctantly I pull out the photo from my pocket and with shaky hands reach out to give the folded image to him. As he un-folds it and look at it, I just wait patiently for his answer. Minutes start to go by with Tobi staring at the photo, narrowing his eyes, but beside that no reaction at all. The air was so tense that it seemed as it could be cut with a pair of scissors. Minutes seem like hour to me as I my nervousness and anxiety rose, and Tobi was STILL just looking at the picture. Come on just say something! ANYTHING! JUST REACT! And as if Tobi just react my mind, he finally speaks up.

"Huh?" Huh? HUH! THAT'S YOUR ANSWER! HUH? "Tobi doesn't get it, what is Tobi supposed to tell senpai?" He asks ever so innocently while he tilted his head to the side. I breathe in slowly trying to calm myself.

"Well, Tobi is supposed to tell me what happen that day" I said thru clenched teeth.

"But! Tobi can't!" What? Did someone already predict something like this will happen! "Tobi can't explain to senpai because Tobi wasn't there that day! Tobi-"

"Wait, what! Give me that!" I said interrupting Tobi and taking the picture. I look around frenetically trying to find Tobi; which, indeed, wasn't anywhere to be found on the picture.

"- is new here too, senpai" He said in a low voice, finishing his sentence. I stand up and go out to the living room, sulking and grumbling on the way. I was just beyond piss off. All the trouble for nothing? All that waiting for a simple answer from him, making me stress over a goddamn lot, for nothing! For him just to not know! Well that just great! I slump over the coach and cross my arms over my chest, frowning deeply. I keep breathing in slowly to calm myself down and don't go around blowing things up. They are so lucky that they took my clay away…

I sighted and stand up to drink some water; I at least had bunch of other people to ask, which they DO seem to know. I turn my face to look at my ever so normal friends, my face quickly move to look at Kisame. He was talking normally with other, smirking like usual. I kind of feel bad that I'm going to make him spit out every single thing he knows; but it's because there no one else I can! Konan will get angry at knowing I took her picture, same with Pein; Itachi is not that dumb, Zetsu and Kakuzu are creepy and scare the hell out of me, and Tobi... The kid doesn't even know! So all I got left is Sasori, Kisame and Hidan. Although... Hidan is Kakuzu's boyfriend; I think I better not mess with that.  
When there were only 7 min before brake was over, we went out to just walk around for a while. Luckily I had classes with Kisame and Itachi; I'm just going to use the same excuse.  
When the time came, I try it, but no use; Itachi was (for some unknown reason) clinging at Kisame. I really don't get why; Itachi is always so detach and emotionless and so damn calm. So then why doesn't he let go Kisame? It's like he knows I'm planning something... Mehh, I'm just being paranoid.  
When the class was over, Kisame left quickly to get to his class. This was my opportunity! I get my stuff and hurriedly follow after him. Where was his classroom? While walking, well rather running, down the hall I saw blue hair taking a turn. I start running a little faster this time wanting to catch up with Kisame; taking a sharp turn left I finally found him. But I surely wasn't mentally prepare to what I was seeing. My eyes widen and mouth hanging; I let my books fall on the floor as I bring up an accusing finger to point at him. The rather laud bang of my books crashing down cause the two males to finally broke apart and look at me. Turning their head, yellow eyes meet blue; but what I didn't expect were deep black eyes meeting with mines. Itachi look at me rather calm as he detaches his hands from Kisame's neck, while Kisame follow along moving his hands away from Itachi hips.  
"Sup, Deidei!" Kisame say with his usual smirk, waving slightly at me. Itachi just nod his head in acknowledgment. The only words I could make out were-  
"THE HELL IS GOING ON?" But this just cause a chuckle from Kisame as he then re-wrap his arms around Itachi waist, this time from the back, resting his head on Itachi shoulder.  
"Well, can't I make out with my boyfriends?" Kisame say again smirking widely at my expression. Of course, why not! I was fucking gaping like a fish, closing and opening my mouth trying to finds the right words. I seriously had no idea they were together! I mean on the restaurant I notice the others were together because they actually act like a pairing! But this two! Itachi aka: Mister Emo Weasel Know-it-all Emotionless Bastard going out with the school pranker, easy going of Kisame? Well now I know what they mean by opposites attract.  
I sighted, took my stuff and left; because of Itachi being his boyfriend I know that if I try to ask him about my past he will tell Itachi that I did. Now the only persons I can ask are Sasori and Shizune. I should head down to the nurse and ask her, she is so nice that she probably won't refuse to help me. At least I hope so… But seriously, what can be so great about my past that everyone can't just tell?

**-End-**

**Author Note:**  
Woow~ finish chap 7! Although I stop it before the part good part started and its short... Stupid news ideas (originally I wasn't planning on traumatizing Dei with finding Kisame making out with Itachi, but then my brain was like "hell, this is boring! Let's fuck up Dei sanity!" haha up)… But you see what happen when you review? First I scare the hell out of my family giggling like a mad person, and second I update fast (that and the fact that I didn't had int for a while, and that you guys reviewing keep me up with the inspiration)! Seriously thanks for reading this fanfic, and don't worry SasoDei is just on the way! Again thanks all for reviewing it makes me so happy!

Till next chaptie~! *drops dead in bed, because if fucking 1:08AM and I have spent all this time (and yesterday till 5 something am) writing this…. I seriously should get a live… PFFF! Prefer yaoi!* ZZZZZzzz

**A/N Update: **I'm so piss of at the moment, is 2:00 and I still haven't upload this! FF is not working! FUUUUUUUUUU- **(****ﾉ****ಥ****益****ಥ****）****ﾉ**you know what? FUCK THIS SHIT I'M OUT OF HERE *goes to sleeps* Sorry bout that, but seriously not my fault that the page isn't working! I'm uploading this when I get the time, so don't get piss off at me if it is late. I'm a busy person! *now actually leaving*


	8. Dull

**Chapter 8**: Dull

I was walking on the hallway towards the nurse, currently we were having French and I was supposed to be there. But I was feeling kind of sick so I'm that's why I'm going to the nurse… Okay, that's a bunch of bullshit; I'm skipping because I want to ask her what the hell is going on with my ever so normal life. Although I'm feeling scare once again about discovering what actually happen, who I'm and what I use to do, even if I could or would learn all the horrible things that happen if my life, even if there is a chance that because that my life will turn dark and I wont smile again… I'm still not giving up, because…I want to remember those moments where I truly smile and had fun, and even if I have to take all this darkness, it will be worth it. If I turn dark, they will be the sun that will brighten my days and the starts that shine at night. So, I know, all could go wrong, but I trust them.

As I keep dwelling on my thoughts I notice… I'm here. Okay, whatever I'm ending this; quick and painless. I knock the door twice then decide to enter. Shizune was sitting on her desk with some paper work, obviously busy. She looks up to see who was and at seeing me she smiles sweetly.

"Umm… Hi Shizune, I have something I want to ask you about, un." I said, trying my best not to shutter. Shizune stands up and walks towards me, a smile always on her face. She directed me to one of the bed and I sat down; she just sat in the bed in front me. She smile again and motion me to speak up, and so I did. "Un… You see, the thing is…" I took a deep breath and sight, closing my eyes. I slowly open them back up, looking at her, almost glaring. I was now completely serious, I only want the true and that the only thing I'm accepting. "I know you know about my past, so I need you to tell me… now." She visible flinches and stirs a bit on her spot; it was easily to tell she is also nervous. She looks at me for a sec, then directed her eyes down at her lap.

"I don't know what you are talking about..." She talk softly as if pleading for me to give it up. I silently shook my head 'no'.

"I'm sorry, but its _MY_ life, can't I know about?" I ask sounding somehow mean and like those snobby kid, though that was unintended. She let a long sight escape, her hand push her hair back and out of her face. She then straightens up and looks completely serious at me, directly at me causing me to look away.

"Deidara… look at me" I turn my face back to her "Look, I'm not telling you everything, but I'm telling you _something._ After all, you are right it's your life." I nod my head understanding , something was better than nothing. Besides I shouldn't be expecting her to know every single thing about me, it's not like she is my mother or some kind of stalker. Ha ha, that will be so weird. (A/N: I love ruining the mood :D)

She clears her throat to catch back my attention, and then open her mouth to speak. "Deidara, look, what I know about it's that your… past was one of the nicest normal one. It was just too much for a little kid your age, so when you came over here and _that _one thing happen… all just…fall. You were strong, really strong willed and you didn't give up; but like I say it was too much. You had a mental brake-down. Your brain shut close everything in a defense mechanism, for a time it was like you didn't exist at all. After that, all your memories where gone, and it wasn't amnesia. This memory lost was caused from the defense mechanism, your brain decide to delete everything that hurt and with that you lost everything else; having no memories means that you are basically reborn. Without all those precious memories that give form to who you are and how you act, you lost your personality, you were no one. After sometime you recover, you still didn't had your memories but you had a new personality. Finally you start acting by yourself; moving, talking, and even smiling. I'm not allow to tell you what cause all this, but it's basically the same as when you try to fit too many things in a tiny box and then one day you try to fit one more little thing and it all just brake. All your suffering before coming to this school, you keep it on the box. From what I know, you never told anyone and keep everything for yourself. And a certain… event occur and your little box just brake. We all always try to help you, Deidara. You never were alone…but either ways you let no one reach you…_No one but him..._" As she finished up, the professional tone leaves her and she barely whispered those last words that I almost didn't hear her. Although right now I didn't pay too much attention to it as I let the words slowly sink in me. I was so empty being no one for a time yet I can't find myself to feel at all bad. Either ways I can't remember anything so I can't feel like I actually lost something, it's weird but I don't feel anything at all about this. Furthermore, I'm actually happy that now I know all this. It means I'm one step closer to my goal. Yes, this is all for the best; I'm happy, I'm okay, there is nothing to worry about.

All is just… _okay…_

**To be continue…**

**A/N:**

**Okay got some news over here:**

**1) YES it is a short chapter, but I was pressure into writing it **

**2) As you have notice, didn't delete it. Why? Because my ever so scary friend THREATEN me to delete it, and well, she IS scary. So, Im going to keep it up. Also I thought most people didn't like it but it seems you do, so yup ^-^**

**3) STILL NO HOT YAOI? No my dear fujoshi, I want to develop the story so wait.**

** 4) Probably now I'm going to be updating sooner (you know why already, but don't worry Im going to make lenght chapts)**

**5) I NEED A BETA PLEASE PM**

**I think that's all...**

**Oh and thanks sooo damned much for your beutiful reviews ;-; SPARKLES AND YAOI TO ALL OF YOU!**

**Cya next chap!**


	9. Give me reaons

**Chapter 9:**

**Give me reasons**

As the day pasted by I decide to remain watching, as if I was some spectator and life was simply a show on the TV. I didn't talk with the others neither make any of my usual remarks. Although I don't think it is because I'm feeling in a way sad or bad, or I don't even know. It just that… I'm not sure, but I just didn't feel like it. At lunch we all gathered and I couldn't help but notice how everyone was completely un-faced by my silence, they just smile and talk to each other. Although Sasori and Tobi did pester me with what was going on with me or what-so-ever they gave up and left me after a while. Besides that everything was fairly normal. _Normal as always._

Now the day was over and I just lay on my bed looking at the ceiling. Not sure how much time has passed but it was a nice way to spend time. Just sealing on my own thoughts, laying down, in pure and outer peace… somehow bored though. I sighted and sit up, looking at my surrounding I notice it was probably around time to go to sleep. Tobi was comfy on his bed snuggling with a plushy, Sasori pass out in the middle of something on his table. Yeah, I think it's pretty late and I should sleep too. Walking down the small stair, I stretched a bit and head to take a short shower before going to sleep. After that I just lay back down and close my eyes; that night, I dream of nothing…

_*TIME SKIP AND POV CHANGE TO THIRD PERSON* (A/N: sorry if it's annoying the sudden change of POV but its need for this to keep up)_

Two weeks. It's been two whole weeks and Deidara was simply and utterly dull. He barely shows any sign that he was alive. Everyone try to do something, they were worry about their friend. But all the more they try, the more they were just ignore and cast aside. Pein said that all they had to do is let him alone and he will find himself; but even so, Tobi was still worry sick. After the day Deidara stop being himself, he start waking up early just to greet Deidara, he will bring Dei breakfast to their room, he will chat with him for hours getting absolutely no response. Deidara just sat there and looks at him with those empty eyes of him and honestly, Tobi didn't get it and no one was there to explain. What could they said? 'Deidara its just fuck up on the brain _again'_ ? They couldn't, besides explain the small brunet what happen on the past will be a huge deal. That and that no one knew what was really going on. Was he remembering and now he hated them? Did someone tell him something? Or maybe there was someone telling lies to make Deidara hate them. Whatever it was they need to do something about it soon. Even Pein start realizing that leaving Deidara alone wasn't working at all.

Sasori… He has always been the impatience one. Even if he swear that he wouldn't interact a lot with Deidara – just for the sake of Dei getting a normal new life- he couldn't just sit and watch as the one he once love… no, the one he loves, just crumble. Yes, Sasori still love Deidara. How couldn't he? But he knew that what he did on the past was wrong, he was fucking stupid and selfish and there is no way he could change that. No matter how much he wanted, Sasori realize he was a monster and he didn't deserve Deidara. But even so, that didn't meant he will let the other just rot like that. Even if he couldn't be the reason of Deidara happiness, he still wants him to be happy. To always smirk in that goofy way whenever he gets to prove that art is fleeting, or that sweet smile he does when Tobi does something silly, or that victory grin he always had whenever he won a pointless argument. Sasori just wanted all that back. _But I was the fucking monster that ruined all that, I am a monster… I broke Deidara and cause him sadness... Although I just wish he could smile. Even if I don't deserve looking at that beautiful smile, I still want it. I'm selfish._

At the moment of now it was lunch; they all sat down and start munching on their food. It was almost completely quiet, besides some small chitchat here and there. They all felt kind of down and gloomy without the artist telling off Hidan, or –like the old times- the artist duo fighting over what art truly is. Deidara slowly ate his food, looking blankly at it with no interest at all. As always Tobi was trying to talk to him, telling him about whatever had happen to him that he found rather interesting.

"And then I won the game! Tobi has the highest score! I even surpass Itachi-nii!" Tobi said excited. Itachi was always having the best score on all and every video game, and so he felt childish happy that he had achieve a higher score that him. Tobi turn his head to look at his senpai, maybe now he will have change! Maybe his senpai will be happy for Tobi! Or at least that was he thought. The second Tobi's eyes meet Deidara's his smile fell off his face. As expect by the others, Deidara was completely un-move by Tobi's words.

"A-ah! R-right! Tobi remembers! Senpai always say not to bother him with things that aren't important. Tobi is sorry…Stupid Tobi." Tobi look down and keep eating his food. Poor little boy, he was just trying to help but slowly he is also losing hope. He tries to keep his tears for himself as he gave a sad smile trying to hide his own feeling; also having his face half cover by the mask help. After-all that was the reason Tobi use the mask; to hide his real emotions of everyone and everything.

But….Tobi didn't want to cry. It was stupid to cry at a moment like this! No one had yelled at him, nor did he get hurt. So, Tobi shouldn't cry! He was a good boy, wasn't he? Good boys don't cry over nothing! It was stupid! _He _was stupid!

Even if he said that to himself, the small raven haired couldn't control the tears that start falling. He moves his mask slightly to wipe his face off the tears with his gloved hand, but as he did this his mouth let small hiccups out. Because of the small noise some turn around to find a teary eyed Tobi trying, and failing, to clean his face of the tears that just keep on coming. The first ones to react were Itachi, Zetsu and Konan who have always been a little bit protective over they smaller boy. After-all Itachi was his cousin and he cares a lot for all his family members, well almost all. He did hate his corrupted parents who have hurt him and his brother. Luckily they both now live together at their own house, he just wishes Sasuke will understand why he did that instead of blindly hating him. Most of his other family either didn't care or thought the same as Sasuke, beside Tobi. The little guy has always been really childish and carefree that the second he meet his dear cousin; he tackle hug him. Not caring that he had basically "kidnapped" his own brother for the sake of giving him a better life. Tobi said that either ways he will always love his cousin because he was really nice to him and so he didn't care what the others said.

"**Tsk, that little runt! I don't care if he is having some kind of mental breakdown, but if he is the cause of this! I will fucking kill the bastard**"Zetsu said as he point at Tobi who was being comfort by the motherly Konan. Zetsu even as part of Akatsuki, he didn't had much care for others members. He is normally silent and calm, but once you get him mad "black" Zetsu will come out. Black Zetsu was basically Zetsu's second personality, or rather 'persona', that acts as a defend barrier to Zetsu. This Zetsu is call Kiroi and he is almost the contrary from Zetsu. He has very little patience, meaning he gets piss off easily and he doesn't care who he hurts. Normally Kiroi wouldn't give a flipping fuck about anyone besides his other half; after-all he was the reason he exist. But just as Zetsu, he also fall for the smiling little guy. Besides, whatever Shiroi cared about, he did too. (A/N: Kiroi means black, Shiroi white)

And so, he didn't thought twice when he snapped at the blonde. The only thing he love and care besides Shiroi was Tobi, and he won't just stay calm as Tobi got hurt by that… that fucking egocentric bastard! Kiroi stands up and grabs the shirt of the _still_ un-moving and un-responsive Deidara. He raises his fist planning on punch the whiny bastard, but just before he could, Sasori had already stood up and pin _him _to the wall. Sasori face was completely emotionless as always but if you look at those eyes you could see that he was trying hard not to kill everyone in this fucking room.

"You touch even a hair of that brat and I'll break every single bone in your body. Got it?" The red head shoved him to the wall, storming off afterwards. Konan sight and decide not to interfere; they couldn't blame Sasori or Zetsu for what they did. The stress and tension was just getting to everyone and it was clear that slowly they were breaking apart. Why did it had to get fucked up like this? They already lost their friend once, why again? Why when they were barely getting a glimpse of his usual self, of the person they actually consider a friend, why did he have to be ripped off from their reach? Wasn't it enough once? They all have already suffered once, and they thought that they could finally be happy. Being part of the Akatsuki brought them happiness, it was like the family they never quite have. They could turn your life to the better; making you smile every day, goofing around and just being themselves. So, what did they do to feel this horrible… _thing _once again? They hated this feeling… they didn't want it.

_This all was just a fuck up and twisted lie…right? _Oh, how they will wish it was just that. But true to be, life wasn't that forgiving; just when you have stood back up, it will push you back down, making you fall down the stair to be left alone to your own. Every single one of them had their own dark past, those dark secret you just regret, that sorrow inside you which you can't forget. Everyone had it, everyone has cry, everyone has lie, and everyone has –at a moment of their life- feel pain.

And the Akatsuki was just that; a group of people who know pain and sorrow as their best friend ; who have a dark past they can't change, who are hurt and just need someone to relay on. This whole group was just for that, to try and stand back up, to laugh, to be happy; so why did it turn out like this? What did they do wrong?

The group whose purpose was to bring at least a small ray of light to each of them was now bringing a moon that covers their sun. What happen to them? When did things start getting so… bad? Pein couldn't help but feel guilty, was this all his fault? He only wanted to try and help, but now it seems that he is just causing everyone to brake. After giving them happiness, smile and laugher it seems that now he was just taking all that away. Was life mocking them by taking it back? This all was just _so _fucked up. None of them deserve to feel like this again. _None. Of. Them._

After the small… 'incident' with Sasori and Kiroi, they all just quietly walk their own path. No one felt like talking, they just need to be alone… Heh, how ironic; they needed to be alone? _Again_? Just how they have been all their life before Akatsuki? Completely alone without someone who cares? Well, it seems they all did and when time to get back to their rooms they still didn't spoke with one another. You basically could felt the tension in the air; everything was so quiet as if someone had died, although that will be easier to comprehend than all this.

Everyone was on their respective bed some thinking and analyzing the events of the day, some just feeling guilt and regret, and some other just feeling pure disgust for themselves.

A boy sat back up on his bed; before he was just trying to find the reasons as to why until he realize… _This was all just so fucking stupid. _Without thinking twice he storm out of his room and to the living room, standing just in front of everyone doors. He hit the wall behind him with his hand to try and make some noise, resulting in everyone else getting startle and waking up. He keeps on hitting until one by one stand by their door looking puzzled at him. Finally getting the attention he was waiting for, the boy grin before speaking up in a loud voice as if to make sure everyone could hear him.

"This isn't the fucking Akatsuki I know! We motherfuckers aren't a bunch of gloomy emo bastards that hide and cry with their mommy when something gets fuck up. We are the fucking _Akatsuki; _we beat the fuck up out of problems! So either you bunch of bastard get back to how you use to be and help to fix blondie or GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE." He finished up crossing his arms over his chest and smirking proudly. "Ouch! WHAT THE FUCK KAKUZU!?" He said once Kakuzo smack him on the back of his head like he did whenever he did something Kakuzu consider stupid.

"Did you seriously wake me up for that?" He replied un-interested as he usually did when they argued over anything, which haven't happen in a while.

"YEAH, PROBLEM BITCH?" Hidan said getting piss off at Kakuzo, which lead to both of them having one of their ever so normal arguments. Everyone else on the background just smiled and laughed. They _needed _this, it was like a wakeup call but from the usual idiot of Hidan that never knows when to shut the fuck. Even so, they needed that. Hidan -for once- was right, they were _the_ Akatsuki! They didn't hide from problems; they faced them face to face. So, why the hell were they being so pansy and whiny instead of doing something about all this?

As laughter fill the living room, the blonde stir on his bed. He had heard all that Hidan had said but either ways, he still was un-changed. Even so, there was another part of him hiding in his subconscious.

'Heh, first time the bastard is right!' he thought with nostalgia. 'I guess it's about time I go and paid _him _a visit.'

**Author Notes: **

If I just start explain all the reasons as to _why _this is so late I wouldn't finish today. So let's just move on and get to the part where I usually apologize for my horrible grammar/spelling/ syntax and etc. I beta this myself ;-; so YEAH I know it kinda rush some stuff in and that its moving from one thing to another buuuuuut I had to. First because *spoiler spoiler* and second because I need _him_ to will get who I'm talking about on next chap. With that said,

'Till next chaptie!


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